Sunday, March 22, 2009

Once upon a time in an Aerobics Session

My wife suggested i attend an aerobics class which was part of the package deal i had got when i joined a nearby gym. Now the gym serves more than the purpose of losing weight.
It allows one to avoid housework; watch the cricket match on the large screen LCD TV;
read the newspaper/magazines leisurely when its crowded;
when you come back you are exempt of any further housework; My beloved wife would say "You must be tired honey!".
Then I shamelessly watch the remainder of the cricket match on the home TV .If i reach home late you exclaim that "Oh there was a lot of crowd today at the gym!", when you actually were give some chick what-not-to-eat tips.

The chances of me actually exercising are shown here:

One fine day, i was forced out of the bed and then out of the toilet and then out of the house to attend the aerobics class. Regretting the decision to wake up in the first place, i treaded slowly into the aerobics room.
The instructor arrived early (sigh!) and the session started.

Few minutes into the session and i realized i was in an 80s' song-and-dance sequence with Jitendra and Sridevi lip-syncing to "Toofah Toofah Toofah, laya laya laya". I just needed whilte overalls and some white shoes. I could have easily passed of as one of the dancers in the last row who does not know what the hell he is doing.
The lead dancer (aerobics instructor) felt more of a B-grade Mithun lookalike; similar to the B-grade Harbhajan lookalike in the new Aircell Ad. He was very fast; hard to keep up types.
and in worse-case he expected us to be in sync.

WTF?! We weren't some wannabe-dancers competing in some reality show but were a bunch of sleep deprived slow-witted folks with hardly any sense of where we were.

There were chicks in the front ( I come from an engg. college so imagine my definition of chicks) who were able to actually follow what our Mithun lookalike was doing. I was *innocently* following their steps.

The feeling of being part of a B-grade movie dance sequence became overwhelming when i realized the aunties around me were gyrating.
Slowly the dance steps changed from Jumping jack to Govinda and now the centrifugal forces around me were thrust onto me with greater effect.

When i narrated the experience (i.e 80s style dancing not the chick staring part) to my beloved better half; she was laughing her guts out.
Now i will always ensure that i would surely attend these sessions.

People often ask when i get time to think/write these things.

Well in the aerobics session i am pretty sure the people behind me must be writing a blog about some fat jackass who even though looking at the chicks was doing something totally different (obviously hilarious and most importantly entertaining) than the rest of the class.


Indrani said...

LOL... ROTFL....
this is awesome... which gym is this... i dont mind coming thr for a good laugh :D... they say laughter is the best medicine :D

Sagar said...

Aerobics on "Toofah Toofah" is too much. I can not imagine. You should try "Dhal Gaya din" Jitendra song also. I am sure this will be easy to dance if u hold badminton racket in one hand :)
Excellent. I like your graphical representation

Vedang said...

maybe you should suggest the next song to your instructor.

i suggest you dance to the (in)famous 'Nasha Nasha karta hain, is nashe main dam nahi' from Gundaa, the classic.

You could also try 'Eskool ke tem pe, aana gori dem pe' (Eskool ke tem pe)
could not find the video of Nasha Nasha.. :(

Ganesh Jaju said...

ROFL! Superb blog, great compilation and awesome perspective of looking at things!

Anonymous said...

So you are that fat guy, who spends all time checking out chicks and dancing as if you are searching for ants in you pants?

Tanmay said...

Lolzzzz.. way to go my friend :)

99kanitas said...


varun said...

may be you should do "iam a dicso dancer" number when we come there ;)

Leena said...

Ever heard of "Digging your own grave"? My dear!! you have just done that.
I always had doubts but you confirmed it yourself. No wonder you are up at 5:30 am and all set to hit the time you come home, only room that you can enter will be kitchen...and not to sit there and hog but to cook a nice meal for me :)